When two cultures become part of who you are.

Living across cultures transforms our identity, our habits, and the way we see the world.

Living in another country transforms much more than just the place where we live. Over time, we realize that the change doesn't just happen in our routine, language, or customs. It also affects how we think, feel, relate to each other, and understand the world.

At first, these changes often go unnoticed. We're busy learning how to get around, dealing with bureaucracy, discovering new places, and trying to build a new routine. But, little by little, something deeper begins to happen.

Some habits that once seemed natural cease to make sense. Others, which initially seemed strange, become part of our lives without us realizing it. It is at this moment that many people begin to wonder: "Am I ceasing to be who I used to be?"

This question is much more common than we imagine.

Most of the time, however, the answer is no.

You're not losing your identity. You're allowing it to transform.

Living between cultures transforms who we are.

There is a fairly common idea that our identity remains the same throughout life. Often, we confuse identity with personality, as if both were fixed and immutable characteristics.

Although aspects of personality tend to remain relatively stable, our identity is continually constructed by the experiences we live through, the relationships we establish, the roles we play, and the cultures we belong to.

That's precisely why living between cultures transforms us.

This transformation doesn't happen simply because we learn a new language or become familiar with new customs. It happens because we begin to live daily with different ways of thinking, working, raising children, organizing time, showing affection, and understanding the world.

Little by little, some of these references become part of us. They don't replace who we already were, but they add to our history. The natural consequence of this process is a change in how we perceive ourselves, relate to others, and make choices.

Have you noticed any changes in yourself since you started living in another country?

Perhaps it is much deeper than it seems.

Change begins with the small details.

Most of the time, these transformations happen silently.

There isn't one specific day when we wake up feeling different. The change appears in small details of everyday life.

It could happen when we start thinking in another language without realizing it. Or when we mix words from different languages during a conversation. Perhaps we'll even surprise ourselves by using a typical expression from the country where we live before even finding its translation in Portuguese.

During the time I lived in Italy, this happened to me frequently. At times, I realized I was thinking in Italian, in English, or even mixing the two languages naturally, without any conscious effort. It was as if different cultural references began to coexist spontaneously within me.

Have you ever experienced something similar?

These small episodes are often signs that we are integrating new experiences into our identity.

When new habits start to make sense.

The changes also appear in the way we organize our lives.

Often, we adopt certain habits because the context demands it. Later, we realize they make sense and choose to keep them.

This is what happened to me regarding WhatsApp use outside of business hours. During the years I lived in Switzerland, I noticed that, at least in the region where I lived, there was a much clearer separation between time dedicated to work and time reserved for personal life. Even in personal relationships, messages sent outside of business hours were less frequent, except when there was considerable intimacy between people. This experience contrasted with the reality I knew in Brazil, where the boundaries between work and personal life tend to be more flexible and messages often arrive late at night. Gradually, I began to establish healthier boundaries and maintained this habit even after returning to Brazil.

The same thing happened with my family's routine. During the time we lived abroad, we started having dinner and going to bed earlier. Initially, it was an adaptation to the context in which we lived. Later, we realized that this rhythm worked better for us and we decided to keep it.

Another important change was the increased value placed on a more structured and predictable routine. At that point in my life, I needed to adapt an entire family to a new country, help children get into a new school, deal with different languages, and rebuild my life in several areas simultaneously.

It was in this context that I understood that organization was not just a personal trait. It was a strategy that allowed me to take care of my family and preserve my emotional balance.

What habits have you picked up since you started living in another country? And which of them still resonate with the person you are today?

Learning that there are many ways to live.

Perhaps one of the greatest riches of intercultural experience is realizing that what we have always considered "normal" is often just the way we have learned to live.

In Switzerland, one of the most important lessons was understanding that there isn't just one right way to raise children, organize family routines, or build social relationships.

Living daily with people of different nationalities broadened my perspective and showed me that many behaviors I believed to be natural were, in fact, deeply influenced by the culture in which I grew up.

This understanding has brought more respect for differences, more flexibility in the face of the new, and a genuine curiosity to understand other ways of living.

When we stop constantly comparing one culture to another and start observing them with curiosity, adaptation tends to become easier.

A new perspective on one's own culture.

Intercultural experience transforms not only the way we see the country where we live.

It also changes the way we look at the country we come from.

Not because our culture becomes better or worse, but because our repertoire expands.

When I returned to Brazil, I began to notice more intensely some cultural differences that had already caught my attention. The constant use of cell phones during meals in restaurants is one example. It had always bothered me, but after living in cultures where this behavior was less frequent, I began to perceive this difference much more clearly.

The same thing happened with punctuality. I've always liked being punctual, but this value was further strengthened during the years I lived in Switzerland. Curiously, there I sometimes felt "too Brazilian," whether because of my more colorful clothes or because I would arrive a few minutes late for a gathering. Today, back in Brazil, I continue to highly value punctuality in my commitments and I realize how this experience has become part of the way I choose to live.

These changes don't mean I belong any less to Brazil.

They simply mean that different cultures have become part of my identity.

Intercultural identity

Perhaps this is one of the greatest gifts of the experience of living between cultures.

Discovering that our identity is not something that needs to be protected from change, but a living construct that continues to be shaped by the experiences we choose to live.

Every country we visit, every language we learn, every friendship we build, and every challenge we face leaves its mark on who we are.

And that doesn't diminish our essence.

On the contrary.

It broadens our capacity to understand people, respect differences, and build a sense of belonging that goes beyond geographical boundaries.

Perhaps living between cultures is precisely that: allowing different places to be part of our history without having to leave behind who we've always been.

In the next chapter of the Living Between Cultures series , we'll talk about a feeling that accompanies many people throughout this journey: the search for belonging. Why is it that, sometimes, even after years of living in another country, we still feel like we don't completely belong? And how is it possible to build this sense of belonging without abandoning our own roots?